Never Dying
by Coffee-Addict-Ngh
Summary: Kenny is sick of no one remembering his deaths so he films it and shows it to his friends and then Kyle remembers. He remembers everything. K2! I do not own he lines from the episodes in the 'memories' they are from "The Coon" and "Coon vs Coon and Friends"


He's died so many times now. In the hundreds he had lost count. He was best friends with both the angels and Satan. Kenny McCormick has been to both enough, the half times he actually goes somewhere. Most of the time, he just wakes up in his bed. And no one remembers. No one ever fucking remembers. It makes him want to pull out his hair like Tweek Tweak! Kenny even shot himself in the head twice in front of his friends and no one remembered he had died. He would show them now though. He had thought a most brilliant plan, one that involved a video camera, himself, and a gun. He smirked and set it up in his room facing the bed where he would mysteriously appear the next day. He pressed record and sat on his bed.

"I am recording this because you stupid fucks never remember when I die. Ever!" Kenny pulls down his hood. "Well here's your goddamn proof south park. I Kenneth McCormick cannot die. You will see me this time!" he got louder, "You will fucking remember it this time!" he stood up. And then Kenny McCormick shot himself in the head. It wasn't anything new to him either. There was no hesitation. The next morning when he woke up he stood up off the bed and turned off the recording device. He played it back and it really was all there. His proof. He talked, shot himself, and then reincarnated right there on his bed. That night he hadn't even gone to heaven or hell it had been a blink and then he was back. Kenny grinned. He won this time. They would see it this time. He made multiple copies of the videos and hid some. Who the fuck knows what would happen today it was South Park after all. It was very possible it could be destroyed on a walk to his friend's house.

Kenny walked to Kyle's house and Sheila let him in saying he was upstairs. It was no surprise that Stan was there also it was known every weekend they had sleepovers. "Um Kenny?" Stan didn't even say hi seeing the expression on their friends face. His hood was still down; they knew whatever it was things were serious.

"Shut up, sit down, and watch this. You remember when were all superheroes as the 'coon and friends'? You remember Mysterion's 'power' of never dying. I tried to tell you and no one would listen." He put the DVD in Kyle's laptop and played it. He played it twice. The two stared at it wide eyed and gaping. "I tried to tell you," Kenny repeated. "And no one remembers if they're there, well no one was there this time only me. And it's on film. I can't mother fucking die! Do you believe me now!?" his voice had risen a few degrees.

"Woah… dude…" Stan looked from the tape to Kenny and back and forth once more before landing back on Kenny. "I'm sorry," Stan gave a very sincere apology. "All those times you described, how much it hurt…"

"Yeah." Kenny looked at Kyle for his reaction. He was still in total shock gaping and then stammering like a fish. A crease lined his forehead as he tried to logically figure how the hell Kenny did this. "You'll get nowhere Kyle. There are no damn answers." Kenny left them the DVD in the laptop. "I'm going to show this to Cartman and a few others. You two have fun finally realizing why I get so frustrated with you all." Kenny left and went through the same ordeal with Cartman, Tweek, Craig, and Butters. He went home after that to take a nap. He changed into his outfit as the sun went down and had another night as Mysterion. He checked on all his friends through the night, stopping in their rooms for any updates and minor conversation. Despite them knowing who he was (except Butters) he kept with his Mysterion voice. That night he fell asleep in Kyle's room. He snuck in through the window about half past four in the morning. Stan was back at his own house. He slipped silently through the window kept open just for him and onto the bed beneath. Before he knew it, Kenny had fallen asleep next to a warm Kyle. The Cute Jewish teen woke to see Mysterion lying on the covers next to him, his outfit slightly askew and ruffled. He smiled softly and put him under the covers curling up next to him. He was glad no one else was around. Cartman would have called him a fag; Stan would have shuffled his feet awkwardly. Kyle didn't care if liking Kenny made him a 'fag' he still liked Kenny.

Kyle had thought about what Kenny showed him. It felt like some intimate detail he shouldn't know about. He watched that video ten more times to be sure it was real. It was. He had no logical reasoning as to why they all forgot when he died. Especially so many times including shooting himself in the head twice in front of him! It had to be the same source of power that kept reviving Kenny. Kyle gently took the hood off his Mysterion and cupped his face thinking about the night he first met the famous boy.

i Kyle was surfing the web, long since done with his homework. He was nine years old and still wore his green hat over the giant red jew-fro. Mysterion silently crept into the room landing on the soft sheets in a one knee down positions.

"Hello Kyle." A deep voice resounded, making the boy turn quickly.

"Woah! What the-"

"Do not be afraid. I mean you no harm," Mysterion went on to explain, sitting on the purple sheets.

"H-hey you're that Mysterion kid!" Kyle got up off his chair and walked towards him on the bed.

"Yes. But now I believe someone is trying to learn my true identity." He surmised, to which Kyle replied

"Dude, everyone's trying to figure out who you are!"

"I cannot be unmasked, for then I would stop being a symbol." He stood on the bed and turned away, now using his arms for emphasis. "I need help, someone who can do some background checks for me, do some investigating." He turns and looks at Kyle as he speaks

"Who? Me?" Kyle was more confused than ever, "Why?"

"Because I think you are the smartest kid in class." Another head turn to half face him, honesty in the blue eyes .It startles him and Kyle is speechless; watching the hero with a slightly tilted head.

"I…" Kyle stared another minute. "Alright. I'll help you."

/i

He grinned a bit remembering the way Mysterion had come to him for help and flattered feeling at the compliment. He didn't know it was Kenny for a while after. Suddenly some things started making sense. How they got out of that dimension, how Kenny had always said he wasn't going to die. Not really anyways. And how even when he did die: he never actually did. Missing pieces fell into place and his memories snapped:

i "Oh my god they killed Kenny!" that was Stan

"You bastard!" that was Kyle and shaking his fist then going about like it never happened.

"..Wait what's your power Mysterion?" Stan asked the hooded Kenny.

"I can't bdie/b" the frustration was evident in his voice.

"Ok good one, Mysterion can't die and iron maiden is indestructible-"

"No Stan, " Kenny interrupted "I'm being serious. I really, really can't die!"

"Ha-what?" Mysterion wasn't facing them, and now he was.

"Like last night in the alley! The cult leader stabbed me and I bled all over the place." He held out his arms" he pointed to Stan "And you screamed oh my god'" he pointed to Kyle "And you called him a bastard."

"When was that?" Kyle was using his real voice.

"All the time! I die all the time!" he wanted to scream but kept his voice in the Mysterion pitch "You assholes never remember!"

"I think we would remember you dying dude." Stan glanced warily at all the others

"Well you don't! I die over! And over! Only to wake up in my bed like nothing happened!" then Stan said something about mint berry crunch peeing his pants, then berry ran upstairs and out the door. "I knew there'd be no point in telling you guys." He turned back around.

"Alright let's just say you're not crazy and it's true," Kyle came up and put an arm on his back "What's the big deal? I mean I think it'd be pretty cool not to be able to die!"

Kenny snapped angrily. "Pretty cool!? Do you know what it feels like to be stabbed!?"he pointed and got right up in his face "To be shot, decapitated, torn apart, burned, run over!?" his scowl was venomous.

"Kenny, Kenny calm down!" Stan said

"It's b not /bpretty cool Kyle! bit fucking hurts!/b and it won't go away! And nobody will believe me!" he stepped back and faced them "b Remember this time! Try and fucking remember!/b" Kenny cocked a gun and shot himself. He was 'dead.'

He was there again the next day and no one remembered a damn thing.

~~another memory~~

"Kenny where the hell are you going?" Kyle asked

"I'm going to try to get you all out of here. If this works. Or, I could be wrong." Kenny started running towards the cliff edge. He jumped off as Clyde yelled his name. He was impaled on the spikes and bloody. "OW! THAT FUCKING HURTSSSS! ARRRGH! Auuugh." Kenny then died.

~~and a final~~

"Wow can you believe it Kenny? Bradley actually had superpowers!" Stan was grinning despite his cold glare. "Isn't that cool?"

"Yeah." He sounded defeated and looked down at himself "I'm tired guys, think I'm gonna go to bed." He took out his gun and shot himself much to everyone else's horror.

/i

"…" Kyle stayed silent in sudden shock at the memories. In a way they scarred him.

"Kyle?" He hadn't noticed Kenny's gaze before now "Are you alright?"

"You even shot yourself. Twice. And impaled yourself of spikes.. and.. and.." Kyle was wide eyed and quiet.

"Yes. I thought I went over that already. A few times actually." The bitterness was clear in Kenny's voice.

"I'm sorry dude, I didn't know. I-I remember now all those times… I even killed you once when you were a zombie." He hid his face in his hands. "Jesus." Kenny relaxed a bit and softened. He took his hands away and made Kyle look at him.

"It's ok Kyle, I forgive you." Kenny leaned in a kissed Kyle to prove it. They both blushed a light pink. "But I should go now. It's dawn and, well, even Mysterion needs sleep." Kyle nodded and gave a small smile.

"I'll see you later then. Mysterion."

"Bye, Kyle." He went up to the window sill.

"Don't die this time Kenny," it was almost a whisper.

"I'll try Kyle. I'll try." He put the hood back up and umped out running into the rising sun.


End file.
